Admission Results

Up until this point, I got rejected by UMass Amherst and Emory University. For Carnegie Mellon University (CMU), I was offered for Master's.  Considering that CMU is one of the top schools in CS along with  other well known universities e.g. Stanford, MIT,  I really want to go there. However, for Master's there is no certainty in funding. Financially, it's almost impossible to afford $18.000 dollar a year just for tuition fee. I have to  sell my house in Salatiga to obtain such a lot of money! (which is crazy). 

In terms of academic path, honestly I don't mind to do Master's, as the credits obtained in Master's can be transferred to PhD. In fact, according to one of the PhD student , many of Master students in CMU continue to PhD program. Indeed, the PhD program is extremely competitive. In terms of academic excellence, I would say the admission committee would prefer a CMU student or other students from well known university with the GPA of 3.6 rather than, say, a graduate from a university in Indonesia with the GPA of 3.9. So, what can I do  is to compete from research experience e.g. publish a paper in a difficult conference, then I think my chance to be accepted will be increased. However, this is difficult to achieve, research is just a rigorous activity and you really need to focus.

The bottomline is, I think I have to close my dream to go to CMU  T_T

From the Fulbright program, I got accepted for PhD in University of Delaware. I never heard about this university and I do not know whether the research group in IR/NLP is active. In addition to that, the Scholarship from Fulbright only covers about $40000. Yes, the scholarship is very limited. Therefore, I would have a shortfall around $7000. Financially, it's still manageable, however I'm still not sure about the academic & research quality in the University of Delaware. 

So... Should I go for PhD now or push myself to the limit this year and re-apply again for the school that I actually wanted? 

Prayer

Lord, lead me today as You see best. Use the gifts You have given me to encourage others on their journey. Help me not to compare myself with others but to be content with who You have made me to be.

Bimbang

Setelah lama ga nge-blog, mari kita posting yang super gak mutu. Cuman curhat doang isinya.

Menunggu adalah hal yang paling menyebalkan. Apalagi menunggu sesuatu yang bener-bener diharapkan. Yah gw sekarang lagi nunggu pengumuman admission PhD. Gw apply sendiri ke 6 universitas.  Terus yang Fulbright, mereka apply 5 universitas. Tapi status gw untuk Fulbright masih diombang ambing. Sampe sekarang semuanya lom dapat pengumumannya. Gw terima-terima saja kalau ga ketrima univnya. Tapi, jujur gw bingung banget setelah itu gw mau ngapain? Re-apply? Atau  diem aja di Fasilkom?  Mroyek ? 

Bisa aja sih re-apply, tapi effortnya gede banget. Dan umur gw udah.... hiks taon ini kepala 3! Ya pengen settle gitu ceritanya. Okelah, sekolah bisa kapan saja, tapi gw punya rencana sendiri. Tahun lalu gw udah all out. Gw bikin 6 essay berbeda utk 6 universitas. Tes GRE sampe 2 kali dll. Jadi pengennya ya ini once in a lifetime attempt gitu deh. Cuapek soalnya! Ga enak juga minta-minta surat rekomendasi lagi ke 2 supervisor gw di Belanda, taon kemaren udah bener-bener ngerepotin mereka.  Bisa aja sih S3 ke Belanda, lebih gampang admissionnya. Tapi bener2 ga suka negaranya. Cukup sudah gw S2 saja disana. 

Kalau diem doang di Fasilkom gw ngerasa gw ga berkembang. Datar-datar saja jadinya. Bisa aja sih S3 di Fasilkom, sama aja sih menurut gw mau S3 dimana aja juga. Toh tergantung kitanya, tergantung paper yang dihasilkan kayak gimana. Walau tentu saja pengen S3 di luar biar bisa dapet supervisor "ternama", tp berdasarkan pengalaman gw dulu di Belanda supervisor ga terlalu ngaruh, gw belajar sendiri hampir semuanya. Tapi yang bikin kurang sreg, kalau S3 disini pasti sambil mengajar dan tentunya SKS gw ga bakal dikurangin. Takut gak konsen.

Mroyek? Yah ini maksudnya buat sampingan. Bikin apps apa kek. Tapi jujur aja susah bgt cari partner buat mrogram. Gw bukan kayak Gatot yang bener2 luar biasa usahanya dalam hal-hal seperti ini. Gw dulu terlalu berpikir sederhana. Gw pikir semuanya akan mulus-mulus saja, uang bukanlah segalanya dll. Maklum waktu itu masih idealis. Sekarang sih jadi lebih realistis hehehe.

Hmm, bener-bener bingung, bimbang. Kalau lagi kayak gini pasti inget bokap. Tapi sayang dia gak bisa ditanyain lagi. Moga-moga Bokap yang satunya memberi penerangan bagi gw :-)